Tag Archives: golfing

How to Cheat at Golf

by Stephen Bye

I have been around the game of golf since I was a young teenager, working as a caddie at a private country club. I have played over 2,000 rounds with hundreds of golfers and participate in amateur tournaments and match play at my private golf clubs. I have observed the most gross violations of the rules on the course, as well as how golfers rig official handicaps. The following is a summary of the best tactics to win at golf by cheating.

On the course: 1 Improve your golf ball lie or position on the course. This is best accomplished by a little foot kick or a short flick of a golf iron. Never actually pick up the ball and flip it because your playing partners might observe your actions. Here’s another great suggestion…keep another golf ball in your pocket (with a small hole) to surreptitiously drop the ball down your pant leg without anyone seeing it, but always be certain the second ball is the same brand and markings as the first ball in case the other golfers know what ball you’re played from the tee.

2. Bribe a caddie to walk well ahead of the group to your ball location and use one of the techniques above. In a match, also demand the caddie puts your opponent’s ball in a difficult lie.

3. On the putting green, be very generous on the distance to the hole for a “gimme”. If the local practice is to use the putter grip for an “in the leather” rule for a “gimme”, use a putter with a longer shaft or one with a much shorter grip.

4. If a bush obstructs your swing angle, use your body, or ask your caddie to bend the branches back to allow an unobstructed swing. Better yet, have a metal clipper in your bag so the branch can simply be cut.

5. If your golf ball lands in long rough, stomp on the grass or weeds repeatedly stepping until you have a clear path to strike the golf ball. If your golf shoes have spikes, for a better effect, use the bottom of the golf shoe to dig a clear path.

6. Use ample mulligans. Justify hitting a second ball by blaming a playing partner or caddie for creating a distraction or for other surprises…a sudden car horn, an overhead airplane, a bird or animal sound, an unexpected wind change, etc. Be creative.

7. Never take a 2-shot penalty if you hit your ball out of bounds…blame the owner of the club for being too cheap for not buying enough land when the course was designed. Without taking a penalty, drop your golf ball near the spot where it sailed over the OB stake.

8. Never identify your golf ball brand to your playing partners in advance or mark your golf ball. If you can’t find your own ball in the rough but discover an abandoned ball, claim it as your shot.

9. When marking your golf ball on the green, quickly nudge the mark an inch forward under the ball; when replacing the ball, hover your hand over the ball and spot it at least 2 inches ahead of the mark.

10. Create a distraction and simultaneously tap the golf ball a few inches closer to the hole on the green.

11. When hitting out of a sand bunker, never play the shot if anyone can see the ball…you want to be able to touch the sand behind the ball to help your focus without incurring a penalty.

12. Tee your golf ball at least a yard in front of the tee markers.

Scoring:

1. Insist on being the scorekeeper for the group and record a few lower scores than you actually had. Your playing partners may never audit the final scorecard.

2. If another player is scoring, just lie about your reported score. Very few players will ever challenge your count.

3. Tell your playing partners that you’re keeping your own score by using an app or simply suggest you have perfect memory to recall your score on every hole.

4. Even if the scorekeeper has been focused on recording every player’s score properly hole by hole, distract the scorekeeper at the conclusion of the round, swiftly swipe the scorecard, and immediately destroy it. When the scorekeeper attempts to reconstruct individual scores for 18 holes, you can easily lie about your score on a few holes… no one can possibly remember every shot for 4 players.

Recording scores for handicap posting

1. Most regular golfers have an official handicap used for adjusting scores for competition. The easiest way to cheat is to tell your opponents you don’t maintain a handicap. You can then make up a high number.

2. If you have an official handicap, add a few strokes to your score when posting.

3. Never record a great score.

4. If someone checks the handicap system and confronts you for not recording scores, simply tell them you forgot; if they see an inflated score posted, blame the pro shop for mistakenly entering your score; or you accidentally typed in an incorrect the score because of your fat fingers or nervousness when using a laptop. If you are really desperate for an excuse, explain that you have been diagnosed with dementia.

5. When posting your score into the handicap system, type your inflated score to match the easiest tee than the one you actually played…this can easily add 2 or 3 strokes to your official handicap.

6. Add inflated scores from other courses, whether you physically played them or not…no one can possibly follow you around to check where and when you play outside of your regular club.

7. Currently, the official scoring rule limits your maximum score on a hole to two shots above the course handicap for that hole. To inflate your official score posting, ignore this rule.

8. Play alone and record terrible scores.

There are hundreds of official rules in the game of golf. One general excuse for cheating is that you’ve never had the time to read the rules book.

Author: Steven Bye

Understanding the Benefit of Biomechanics in Golf

There is information available widely through the web, PGA courses and magazine articles that brings you up to date with the latest thinking in golf. They teach you the latest on how to swing each club correctly, how to putt, how to analyze your swing, how to get mentally ‘tough’, how to improve flexibility and how to get fitter and stronger for golf.

Today there is a plethora of information being offered about golf. Some of it correct, all of it interesting, but how much of it is relevant to you? And how do you know which of these generic exercise tips is going to help you? Even if you trained using each one for 6 weeks and then took the results onto the course and tried them – how do you then know whether your performance is ‘that exercise’ or that you just had a good day?

Even video/digital analysis, although interesting from all points of view measure the movement discrepancies in a golfer’s swing, it doesn’t tell us why you are performing these movement aberrations. Knowing what you’re doing wrong, but not knowing why you’re doing it is sometimes worse than not knowing what you’re doing wrong!

Golfers and Coaches need a simple system of analysis that they can use in conjunction with their coaching techniques to find out why golfers perform their particular swing. Although there are fundamental similarities to all good swings, each swing is like a finger-print and unique to that individual. Why is it unique? It’s because we are all biomechanically different, and unless you understand what those differences are, how can you identify whether your swing is due to poor technique or something that has to done to compensate for a mechanical problem? You can’t. The variety of golf swings that exist represent the many ways that the human body can compensate for its biomechanical problems.

For example, let’s take a typical handicapper’s slice. You know the typical causes of a slice and the things you would normally work on, bearing in mind the individual you are helping and what you see. At the same time we also know that these ways don’t always work. There may be a number of reasons for this: they may not be practicing, it may take some time to work out which is the best method for them, or quite simply it may be that the person doesn’t have it in them to do what you’re teaching. Alternatively, it is likely that they can’t physically do it. If that pupil has a longer right leg (assuming they’re a right handed golfer), then they will have a tendency towards a more upright back swing. We know this because of the way the spine and pelvis work biomechanically. A longer right leg compresses the joints in the spine on that side and so the person can’t rotate easily. They therefore have to side bend to gap the joints and initiate movement, which causes an upright backswing. We also know that this then leads to a more out-to-in downswing and therefore a slice (depending upon grip and ball position of course). So you could work all day on preventing this upright backswing, which you know is leading to a slice, but it will not change until you’ve addressed the leg length discrepancy.

Invariably these leg length discrepancies are caused by a rotated pelvis and often they don’t cause symptoms so you won’t even know they exist. If this is the case, then doing some simple exercises can help re-align the pelvis, reduce the leg length discrepancy and allow you to flatten that back swing.

There are many more of these examples. As well as leg length discrepancies, other biomechanical issues can include, poor motor programming strategy (the way the muscles link together in movement patterns), poor control between the pelvis and shoulders, nerve adhesions or stiffness, faulty core muscle control, immobility around the hips, pelvis and spine, and simple lack of flexibility. Some of these issues sound quite technical and complex, but they’re actually very simple to test and eradicate.

Biomechanics works ‘hand in glove’ with your teaching; it is crucial Pro’s understand and embrace this as its going to be the next big thing in golf.

There is a system that exists that can help others learn about and address these issues. It comes in 3 forms. First, there is a software package that takes you through some simple biomechanical tests. This expert system takes you through a series of exercises to eradicate biomechanical problems. Second, there are courses, which are endorsed by the PGA, which teach PGA professionals how to assess their own pupils and administer the exercises themselves. Lastly, experts can come to your club and assess your pupils individually and make recommendations based upon a detailed assessment of their biomechanics. Following a discussion with these experts, a decision can be made as to the best program for them to follow.